7
 
He’d turned off the light just in time, right before the big, fat tears flashed down over her cheeks. Damn. Her makeup job was not tear-friendly, with all that coal black eyeliner and mascara. She’d gone with the unpredictable late-night vixen look, but it was a short step from that to a dripping raccoon mask. Vixens didn’t cry.
She sniffed the tears back and gathered her courage. She was shivering, nipples poking out. The room was dim, just the glow of the halogen heater wavering and squiggling in her watery vision. Her legs wobbled as she sashayed toward him. She stopped to kick off the heels. She regretted the lost height, which she needed with this guy, but it wasn’t worth taking a tumble.
The glow of the heater would be flattering for her skim-milk pallor, so she tossed her hair back and yanked the stretchy black lace shirt off over her head. Shoulders back. Boobs out, up. Ribcage tilted. Suck in the belly. Good posture did wonders for breast perkiness.
His eyes glittered. Suddenly the room seemed almost hot.
Lily kept her eyes open wide, hoping the tears would evaporate from her eyeballs. She wouldn’t choke up now. She’d started this, and she would see it through. She struggled with the zipper on the denim skirt, got a grip, yanked it down. The skirt flumped ungracefully to the floor, denim studs clattering, leaving her clad in the black lace thong and the thigh highs with the rubberized thingies that were supposed to theoretically hold them up without garters but never quite managed the job. She hoped the rips and runs enhanced the ragged vixen effect. It wasn’t just a look. Couldn’t afford new ones.
He took a step closer. Her lungs locked. No air going in or out.
“I should take a shower,” he said. “I smell like frying grease.”
“No, you don’t,” she said. “You smell like coffee. And disap.”
“Dish soap?” He looked rueful. “Wow. Seductive.”
“It is,” she assured him. And it was.
He was close enough to touch but taking his time about it, just vibrating at her, his very body heat a tender touch. He laid his hands on her shoulders. She gasped. His hands were so warm. How could they be so warm in this cold? A penetrating, tingling warmth, full of sparkles. It flowed into her body, stealing through her like a river of honey.
She’d just started to relax when he sank to his knees. She seized up again in a sudden panic. His hot breath tickled her navel. His hands clasped her hips.
“What the hell are you doing?” Her voice was shrill.
He hooked his pinkies into her thong and tugged it. “This.”
Oh. That. Like she hadn’t asked, begged, ordered him to get on with it. And now she was getting all sissy missy about it.
But she trembled as he pulled the garment down. It snagged, the crotch locked in the grip of her clamped, quivering thighs.
“You sure you’re OK?” He tugged inquisitively at her thong.
Irrational anger gripped her like a charley horse. OK? What did that word even mean? As if anything in her fucked-up world could ever be OK again in this lifetime. But it wasn’t Bruno’s fault. None of it.
And she’d die if he stopped. “I’m fine,” she squeaked.
“Then relax,” he coaxed.
Yeah. Like it was so easy. He petted her thighs, long, soothing strokes. She clutched the thick muscles of his shoulders to steady herself, and her legs unlocked, letting the gusset of her thong finally go.
He peeled it off one ankle, then the other, then lifted the scrap of black lace to his face, eyes crinkling from a hidden grin as he inhaled. He pressed his face against her navel, nuzzling. Slid down until his mouth rested against her muff. Just leaning there. The rhythmic swell of his breath was a subtle caress. “I want to make you come,” he said.
She tried to laugh. The sound strangled itself. “So I should hope.”
“No, I mean right now. With my mouth.” He stroked the sides of her thighs, each caress coaxing her to relax, let him do his magic thing.
She cleared her throat. “Not now. Maybe later. If you’re good.”
“I’m very good.” His voice vibrated deliciously through her groin.
He pulled her down onto the couch and slid between her legs, cupping her head to pull her close. To kiss her.
She arched away in panic. “No!”
He rocked back. It was hard to make out his expression in the dimness, silhouetted against the heater, but she could feel puzzlement and frustration coming off him in waves. “What the fuck?”
She was going to cry again. She didn’t dare speak. She shook her head, blinking madly. Kissing would crack her along all the fault lines.
“You don’t want foreplay or kissing? What the hell do you want?”
He was angry, and she didn’t blame him. She was angry at herself. “Turn that thing off,” she said, gesturing to the heater. “It makes too much light.”
“What’s wrong with light? Who are you hiding from? You’ll freeze!”
“I won’t freeze.” As if. She felt feverish. She was going to combust
Bruno gave the switch on the heater an angry slap. The light faded to a million shades of deep charcoal gray. He rose to his feet.
She grabbed his hand, terrified that she’d scared him off. “Where are you going?”
“If you don’t want the heater, we need a blanket. There are springs coming through. I don’t want you to get scratched.”
It was so cold without Bruno to generate heat, but he was back a moment later, his arms full of fuzzy blanket. He arranged the blanket over the couch, half draped over the back, half draped over the seat.
He gestured sharply for her to sit. This was like an anxiety dream, only worse. Stark naked except for thigh highs, with a very large and volcanically hot sex god, who she’d cleverly wrangled into a really bad mood, looming over her in the dark. Nice move, Parr. Very smooth.
She tugged on the bottom of his jacket. “Won’t you take that off?”
He shrugged the jacket off. Pried off shoes, socks, sent them flying. Yanked his T-shirt off over his head. She was transfixed as every sensual promise was abundantly fulfilled. He was ripped and beautiful, even in the dark. He wrenched his belt loose, shoved down his jeans. Kicked them off. Stood there, his cock jutting toward her.
Wow. She’d seen plenty of male sexual equipment, being as lusty and curious as the next girl, but she’d never seen anything like this guy. Not that she was a size queen, or anything. But even so. Oh, my.
He stood silently in that belligerent pose, legs wide, letting her look. Waiting for her to chicken out.
“Touch me,” he said. “If you really want this. Touch my cock.”
“My hands are freezing cold,” she warned.
“They won’t be for long.”
She lifted her hands, tentatively. He grabbed them, wrapped them around the shaft of his cock. They gasped, him at the cold, her at the heat. Delicious, volcanic. The velvety supple softness, gliding over that hot, hard, urgent pulse of blood in his shaft. So thick, stiff, and ready. Her thighs tightened. Her hand barely closed around him.
Her body felt tight. Her skin felt too small. Bruno flung his head back. She wanted to kiss the taut tendons in his throat, but she was trapped in his tight grip. His fists clamped over her hand, guiding the long, squeezing strokes, the twisting swirls.
It was so quiet, just occasional night sounds of the city, their harsh breathing, the wet sounds of her hands moving on him. Rougher than she’d expected. Her lungs were squeezed small with excitement, thighs clenched around a hot glow. She pried a hand free and cupped his ass. Dug her nails into the taut dips and curves of his flanks, pulling him. She wanted to savor his slick, salty taste.
His hand blocked her face as she leaned closer. “No.”
She was utterly taken aback. Men never refused blow jobs. The craving for fellatio was hardwired into them. “No?” she repeated.
He held her face firmly at a distance. “If I can’t, you can’t,” he said. “Not unless it’s mutual. It’s my sexual code of conduct.”
“Oh, come on!”
“Fair’s fair,” he said. “No compromise. Take me or leave me.”
She squeezed his hot, pulsing rod, milking it. “I’ll take you.”
“Yeah?” He covered her hands with his around his cock. “I’m getting a weird feeling. I’ve been letting my d was the thinking, but even with a nonfunctioning brain, I feel like you’re messing with me.”
“No.” Panic twisted in her middle. “No, I’m not. Really.”
“Oh, I’ll still do it,” he assured her. “I want it. But I’ll tell you right now. If you try to make me feel bad afterward for having done it, it will piss me off like you would not believe.”
“I won’t,” she assured him.
“Yeah? Good. If you have any doubts, this is your chance to put your clothes on and leave.”
She grabbed his hand, pulling until he sank to his knees again. “No doubts,” she said, pulling his hand between her legs. “Feel me.”
His fingers dipped into the slick, hot moisture that bathed her pussy. Air hissed sharply out of his mouth.
He shoved her down onto the blanket. The lumpy cushions gave, aged springs creaking, and she shuddered with pleasure as he teased her pussy, sliding his fingers inside while his thumb sought out her clit.
He diddled her, dragging kisses up her belly that left a trail of wildly overstimulated flesh in their wake. When he reached her breasts, heat bloomed, unfolding from inside her chest and swelling helplessly to meet the call of his hot mouth. She made a shocked sound.
He lifted his head. “What? Don’t tell me your tits are taboo, too.”
The sour note in his voice made her giggle. “No.”
“Thank God.” He bent his head to her breasts again.
She usually got bored with foreplay, though she always awarded a guy points for the effort. But this was pleasure on a whole new scale.
She shook, straining, as each slow thrust caressed her sweet spots. His mouth coaxed her into a sparkling froth of sensation, until she was writhing, hips jerking, chest heaving against his hot mouth. “Enough,” she gasped out. “Please . . . please. I want you.”
“Give me one, first,” he said.
She blinked in the dark, utterly lost. “Huh? Give you what?”
“Come for me. Before we do it.”
She didn’t have enough air in her lungs to laugh. Like orgasms were so easy to come by. “I can’t do that on command,” she explained. “It’s not that easy for me to come, but I’m having a really great time, and you’re doing everything right, so don’t take it personally if I can’t—”
“Shhh.” He pressed his fingers to her lips. “It’ll be OK. Just stop fighting. You’re small. You need to relax. Trust me.”
Trust him. Hah. She didn’t even know what it would feel like to trust him, or anyone. He kept doing his thing, and the pleasure warped out of control, swelling into something huge, scary, something lethal—
It hit her, slamming her, with emotion, sensation, who the hell knew. It had no name, no precedent. It knocked her out.
She floated back after a while, limp and disoriented. Amazed she was still there at all. Still alive. Still herself.
Bruno was crouched on the floor, digging in the pocket of his jacket. A crinkle, the rip of foil. Good thing he was being responsible. She herself had forgotten all about that. Shocking. Stupid of her.
Bruno stretched her out on the couch. She shivered, boneless and soft. So vulnerable. Like a virgin on a sacrificial altar. He spread her legs wide, poised himself between them.
He started slowly, pting her slit with the head of his cock. The up-and-down swipe made her writhe with ticklish delight, wiggling to take more of him. He leaned back. Goddamn tease. She arched her back, reaching to grab his ass, pull him in where he belonged.
His white teeth flashed, and he swirled himself, lodging the head of his cock inside her, slowing down at the resistance he found there. Rocking, pushing. She arched, panting with eagerness. Wow, he was hard, blunt. But she was ready. Primed to screaming.
His weight bore down, his phallus driving deep, in a tight, delicious shove. She grabbed as much of his upper arms as she could wrap her fingers around and pressed back, arching her back, pulsing her hips against him greedily. Their eyes locked. His face was tense, all teasing gone. A muscle pulsing in his locked jaw.
He lowered himself, covering her body with his heat, his weight. The blanket he’d draped over the back of the couch fell down, covering his shoulders and the back of his head, blocking out what light there was. She was swaddled in a tight, breathless cocoon, with this big, hard, hot man all over her. Miles inside her.
He stared into her eyes and began to move. It blazed out of him, as clearly as words. Each lunge into her body said mine, mine, mine.
She hadn’t signed up to be his, or anyone’s, but it was happening anyway. It was too much. It was killing her, how good it was. Each stroke a hot, liquid lick of melting pleasure.
She started to fight again, just to make it back off enough so she could find her separate self again, but it was like fighting a mountain. His weight pinned her against the squishy couch. His cock pumped, slick and deep into the well of delicious sensation between her legs, twisting and swirling, finding so many madly lit-up sweet spots inside her and stroking over them, and over them, ah, God, again . . .
Her legs twined around his, trapping him deeper. She bucked and wiggled to get him exactly where she wanted him, and he followed every cue almost before she gave it. More tears slid out, but she no longer cared about the makeup mudslide. She whipped her head from side to side, whimpering with every heavy lunge.
He cupped her head, stared into her eyes, and kissed her. A kiss to draw her soul out of her body, but he gave her his own in return. And the possessive, obsessive chorus of mine, mine, mine with each frenzied stroke—it was coming from her now, too. He was hers. All hers.
Things got incoherent after that, yet never had anything seemed so real, so vivid, so clear. They were gasping, yelling. The blanket tumbled with them as they slid off the couch and thudded to the floor, Bruno on the bottom. He slammed his arm into the coffee table, shoving it out of the way. It teetered, tipped.
She clawed the blanket off, wanting no barriers, and rode him hard, clutching his arms, her head flung back in pounding abandon. She was fever hot, glowing like a coal in the dark netherworld of that chilly apartment. He jolted upward against her, his fingers digging into her ass. Every thud of contact sharpened her wild, driving need.
He flipped her, pinned her, and she was on the bottom again, his tongue thrusting, twining with hers, his hips surging, heaving—
Pleasure ripped through them both, violent, relentless.
It left them a wreck of tangled, sweat-soaked limbs, gasping for breath. Flattened and limp. Sweet devastation.
Sometime later, the sweat had cooled. Bruno moved, feebly, to extricate himself. He slid out, leaving her collapsed, abandoed, alone.
And suddenly, horribly sad.
She braced herself for the moment of truth. What the truth was, she didn’t know, but it was sure to be anticlimactic.
Bruno dropped his head into his hands. “Mother of God,” he muttered. “That was . . . what just happened?”
She pushed herself up onto her knees. She’d lost a stocking in the frenzy. The other dangled off her ankle. “I, ah, don’t know.”
“Did I hurt you?” He sounded like he was holding his breath.
“No,” she said hastily. “God, no. Not at all. On the contrary.”
He heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”
She was hit by an unexpected wave of tenderness. Aw. He was an awfully sweet guy, totally apart from the celestial-sex-god thing. She reached to touch his face. He was so warm, the skin so supple, the stubble scraping her fingertips. She pulled away before he had a chance to reject the gesture. Didn’t want to embarrass the man to death.
He caught her hand, yanked her close, and suddenly they were kissing again, like horny teenagers in a backseat. It made something ache and burn in her chest. He clamped her against him, silently demanding intimacy of a magnitude she’d never even known existed.
But she knew it now. Like an eye inside her had opened up, revealing unheard of emotions. Dangers, too. Like she needed new ones.
It didn’t matter. She couldn’t stop kissing him. Her arms were around his neck, strangling him, but he seemed to like it. She could feel his lips smiling as they moved over hers. “So we got rid of one dumb taboo,” he said. “Want to take a run at the other one?”
She giggled, like a silly girl. “Um, ah . . . you mean—”
“Letting me go down on you. You wouldn’t regret it.”
She hid her red face, her out-of-control, shaking giggles against his neck, tasting the salt tang of his sweat. “You better let me catch my breath,” she said. “That was intense.”
His body stiffened. “Too rough, you mean.”
“I didn’t say that,” she said. “Stop putting words in my mouth.”
The silence sagged with the weight of all the things that were still too dangerous to say to him, but she had to find a way.
Her imagination just couldn’t quite get past this wall.
She took a deep breath. All she could do was wait for the right moment. God knows, it would be no chore to stick to him like glue.
“So. Ah. What now?” she asked, hesitantly.
His hand cupped her breast, lazily fondling her. The caress made shimmers of light move through her, sparkling inside her very skin. “I have some ideas,” he said. “It depends on you.”
“What depends on me?”
“Here’s my proposal. I take you to my condo. I call in sick to work. We sit together in the Jacuzzi, you on my lap. Madly tongue kissing.”
She giggled, weakly. “Um. Sounds good so far.”
“Then, stark naked and fully erect, I cook you breakfast. An omelet with everything but the kitchen sink, pan-fried potatoes, sausages, fresh orange juice, cheddar scones, coffee. We eat and go into the bedroom. Then I spend the rest of the day making you come.”
“Ah,” she whispered. “Wow.”
“And we take it from there,” he concluded cheerfully.
She was smiling like an idiot. Happiness was bubbling up inside of her, and it scared her. She had no place to put it. It had nowhere to go, no room to grow. No right to exist in her life, as it currently was.
It would turn to pain soon enough. Everything did. But who the fuck cared right now? This might be the last fabulous time she ever had. Might as well go out on a high note.
“Sounds like a plan.” Her voice a breathless squeak.
They dressed quietly, not looking at each other. Shyness had descended upon them again, and it felt odd, after such intense intimacy. He lifted an eyebrow as she stuffed her hair back up under the black wig and perched the cat-eye glasses back onto her nose.
They walked out onto the landing, and he took her hand.
She fought the warmth unfurling in her chest as she trailed him down the shabby, narrow staircase. This was so wrong, so foolish. She had to sharpen up. Her teeth clenched so hard, pain shot up her jaw.
Bruno sensed it and glanced back at her. “You OK?”
She manufactured a smile for him. “Yeah. Sure.”
He frowned, worried, as he shoved his shoulder against the outside door. He stepped out backward, opening his mouth to speak.
She saw the SUV, door gaping. The dark figures, leaping at them.